The Countdown Starts - to the worst wedding ever.

I'm just a bridesmaid, so I understand it's my duty to keep quiet. But -
How do you take an hour glass figure (see image) and turn it into Susan Boyle.How do you take a happy girl, excited about someone choosing to spend the rest of their life with the person they love, into someone who spends their evening cryingover all theassociated wedding issues, when it isn't even their wedding. How do you go from a healthy savings account, to watching it dwindle away on something that you won't even see? I'll tell you... the wedding from hell. I am one of 8 bridesmaids in this Little Mermaid theme wedding. Last night was my dress fitting, if you can call it a dress. More like a costume really. They were made by the maid of honor's mom, who makes costumes on the side for a ballet studio in a strip mall run by the bride's overweight mother. I put the "dress" on with a strapless bra, because in true mermaid fashion, it's a sweetheart cut, which could be very flattering, if it was made by a professional. I am shaped more like a Barbie, which more realistic proportions - I have a strangely large chest area which makes me wonder how I don't fall over. I am not fat, I am not thin, I am tall and I have awesome legs but this "dress" makes me look horrible. Not does it only hide my best features, it highlights my worst. Fat, stumpy, boxy and worst of all, my chest does not fit in this outfit AT ALL. So, after trying it on with a bra, the bride says - Oh no, you don't need a bra in this dress. Rolling my eyes, knowing what would come next, I tried on the dress without a bra. The bride, in laughing hysterics, points out that I look similar to a porn star. Nothing makes a girl feel better than being told she looks like a porn star... THEN she starts getting angry. I obviously cannot wear this dress as it is. The dress cups cannot be altered and I need straps. But she is adamant that if my dress needs straps, all 8 of them need straps. I am "ruining the wedding". So now that I feel completely shitty and self conscious about my body, I also feel guilty about "ruining her wedding". I snatch the dress and tell her not to worry, I will go to a tailer and have clear straps put on. This wedding is taking place on the Jersey Shore, I will just fit in all the more with clear plastic straps digging into my shoulders to hold up the boulders resting on my chest.

18 days until the wedding. Can anyone recommend a tailer?